I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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