the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
