how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
