Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
