Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize