So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
