I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
