something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize