can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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