He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
