Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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