just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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