You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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