im drinking this country out of the recession.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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