I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
