...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
