Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
