I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
