Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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