she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
