Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
