I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
