when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
