This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
