I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Randomize
