is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize