Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
