sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
