i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
