Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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