I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
