I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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