I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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