Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How does it feel to date your dad?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
