RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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