you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
