READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
