I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
