her facebook's as public as her vagina
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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