Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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