If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
