i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
