Only a mothe r could love this liver
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
