the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
