I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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