Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The Olympian is in my bed
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize