Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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