Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
