I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
