I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
