I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
