I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
