Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
