Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
