I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
