Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
