We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
