is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Congratulations! We have a period
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
