I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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