Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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