i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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